Calling for Single Christian Women
Spring 2024
The calling of God to any of His people on earth is a most precious treasure and should be held dear, but understanding “calling” is foundational to our stability as women of God. Romans 8:28 speaks of “the called,” telling us that God has a purpose for them and works all things for their good. Thomas Watson in his All Things for Good says, “Calling is made the middle link of the golden chain of salvation…If we have this middle link fast, we are sure about the other two ends of the chain.” This gracious and holy call is the inward, effectual call of God by His Word and Holy Spirit to bring the soul to possess Christ.
The woman who possesses Christ can wholly trust Him for everything that concerns her because He loves her with an everlasting love. Just as sure as that calling is into God’s family so is God’s working all things for our good according to His purpose for us individually. A complete trust in God is foundationally anchoring for the deeply painful trial of singleness which seems at times to suddenly overwhelm God’s beautiful single daughters like a tsunami. May these thoughts bring comfort and help in such needful times.
God’s purpose in sanctification is to grow His children in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and He knows and will show each of His daughters the path of life. As we read the Bible, pray, and attend the public means of grace, the Lord’s presence brings joy and the foretaste of heaven’s pleasure. We walk with the Lord, sending those foundational roots downward and being built up to bloom with the fruit of the Spirit, thereby being established in the faith and abounding with gratitude. The journey is the painful part though, because what we know is not always aligned with what we feel. Gazing around at others or circumstances instead of gazing heavenward, we succumb to feelings and thoughts contrary to truth. What help do we have in such a time? Remember the truth—your Father in heaven loves you so bring your trouble to Him. Acknowledge and confess all the prickly porcupine-like feelings and thoughts to Him; give them to God, and ask Him to renew your mind to clearly know God’s good will for your life. In this season God is calling you to serve Him in your singleness, so don’t waste your time doing lesser things, but joyfully serve the Lord, using your unique opportunities, abilities, and talents to benefit those around you. You will be a blessing to others, know the joy of the Lord, and bring glory to God!
I am so grateful for a special woman who was willing to trust the Lord both in her salvation and in her sixteen-year singlehood, from the time of her salvation at age 19 until she married when she was 35 years old. Growing up poor, a child of the Depression, she was saved when she first heard the gospel preached by an evangelist in her small western Iowa town. She found a church in Sioux City, where she learned of a need for missionaries in Africa. Feeling called, she traveled to Chicago for Bible school, and from there served the Lord in the Belgian Congo as a teacher to missionary children. Leona wrote letters home to her dear mother, and they prayed for each other at the same time though in different time zones. Four years later, she returned home, and decided to earn her degree in elementary education at a Christian college. She worked at the Shriner’s hospital caring for sick children to support herself and pay for college. She loved teaching children to read in her first-grade classroom. Leona was content to be “Aunt Lee” to numerous nieces and nephews by that time. She provided the way for her youngest brother and sister to receive a Christian education too. Through her friends, she met a 53-year-old widower; they fell in love and married. Had Leona settled for anything less than willingly serving the Lord, I would not be writing this article. Leona was my dear mother. Her friends became my older half-sisters, and their father was also my father. I am so glad that my mother didn’t waste her singleness on lesser things, but lived for God’s glory.
On the other hand, Stephanie, a strikingly beautiful 51-year-old single woman, has remained single after choosing to break an engagement years ago rather than to marry the wrong man. The struggle with singleness had been difficult for Stephanie, but with the broken engagement came a full surrender to the Lord, resulting in full contentment in God’s will for her life. Last year Stephanie shared her testimony with a room full of single women. Her life verse is Psalm 16:11, “Thou wilt show me the path of life; in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.” She said, “Give God first place in your life and He will direct your path, as Proverbs 3:6 promises.” She encouraged the women to find joy in God’s presence by regularly reading His Word, developing their relationship with Him in prayer, and being grateful. Finally, she reminded her audience to meditate on heaven. The best pleasure will be seeing the Lord Jesus face to face and hearing His “well done.”In the years since Stephanie’s broken engagement, her very full life includes playing the piano at her church, teaching generations of children and young people to play the piano, and tutoring dyslexic readers. Year after year, she has lovingly invested her time into the lives of her students and their families. Her faithful service for Christ is an invaluable blessing to others and someday will be rewarded in heaven.
Singleness is not a punishment nor should a single woman feel less loved or unworthy. Satan would have us fall into this trap. Replace the lies with truth: Your life has all the value of a precious daughter of God, whom the Lord Jesus Christ suffered and died for on the cross. God’s loving purpose and plan for you is more beautiful, joyful, and satisfying than you can imagine! Satan would have you feel alone in your misery, but Jesus, the lover of your soul, gives you good Christian friends, older and younger, who are cheering you on! Seek out a mentor—a godly older woman who listens well, offers wise counsel, and prays for you. In addition, Elizabeth Elliott’s books Passion and Purity and Quest for Love provide encouraging counsel, as well as examples and stories of God’s leading couples together in amazing and miraculous ways when “snail mail” was the only way of communication. She encouraged the young people of her day to wait on the Lord for their love lives, just as she waited on the Lord for five long years until Jim was sure that missionary work and marriage were compatible! May you be content and satisfied to live for Christ and serve Him joyfully, beloved single friend!
Mrs. Barbara Mooney